If you are yet not tired of reading my scribblings (that I happily call poems :P), here is yet another. This came out pretty weird actually,so I would love if you could tell me how I could improve on this one :)
This is the edited version of the poem. The last 2 lines in the second stanza were added by Andy . The lines I had written previously are kept in parenthesis. Thank you so much Andy!! :D
That Feeling
Will you believe me
If I said I knew
How it feels to be an
Insignificant and un-special
Nobody to somebody?
Will you believe me
If I said I knew
How it felt to be
The only invisible one
In a world made just for two?
(Invisible to that one
Everybody of your world?)
Will you believe me
If I said I have felt
Hurt and pain
In places I never knew
Existed in me?
P.S.- This is what happens to me when I watch too many romances. I cry for hours and then I start scribbling this. So please do not take this to be autobiographical. I just love getting into the shoes of characters and then sort of imagine what they must have felt. This time the character was Iris Simpkins (Kate Winslet) from The Holiday. :)
Will be back to my totally un-poetic posts soon :D
Till then
Love
Swarnali
This is the edited version of the poem. The last 2 lines in the second stanza were added by Andy . The lines I had written previously are kept in parenthesis. Thank you so much Andy!! :D
That Feeling
Will you believe me
If I said I knew
How it feels to be an
Insignificant and un-special
Nobody to somebody?
Will you believe me
If I said I knew
How it felt to be
The only invisible one
In a world made just for two?
(Invisible to that one
Everybody of your world?)
Will you believe me
If I said I have felt
Hurt and pain
In places I never knew
Existed in me?
P.S.- This is what happens to me when I watch too many romances. I cry for hours and then I start scribbling this. So please do not take this to be autobiographical. I just love getting into the shoes of characters and then sort of imagine what they must have felt. This time the character was Iris Simpkins (Kate Winslet) from The Holiday. :)
Will be back to my totally un-poetic posts soon :D
Till then
Love
Swarnali
Yes I do sweetheart....I totally believe you.
ReplyDeleteLoved it....never knew watching romantic movies could result into this!!
I shall give you the list of all the seven movies I saw back to back and you'll understand the effect it has on you. plus am a certified weeper!! lol :P
DeleteI think every girl searches for some kind of truth via a romantic movie...a really nice poem!! :)
ReplyDeleteThank you sweetheart :)
DeleteI somehow agree on that one. I particularly don't search for anything but I do love imagining all sorts of stuff and how life would have been had I been a particular character :)
Movies can really affect me. I cannot watch violent movies in anyway because my brain literally cannot detach what I see on the screen from reality. There was a movie I saw when I was young called White Squall, and it made me cry for weeks. It was ridiculous.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful poem my dear :)
I can totally identify with what you said. i always had this trouble of completely detaching myself from things that I read or see. It gets worse if I happen to like it. That is the very reason I avoid too much of gore on screen. I cried for days after watching Brokeback Mountain,I just somehow couldn't bring myself to accept that Jake Gyllenhal was dead.
DeleteAh, I'm a real sucker for romantic movies too!! I liked the little poem a lot :-). Of course, I'm far from a poetry expert but the line 'Everybody of your world' seems a wee bit out of sync. Yes, I did read it out aloud :-))
ReplyDeleteThank you so much...even I was a little unsure about that line but I didn't know what would suit it better. Tell me what I could replace it with? You are always welcome to correct me. You don't need to be an expert to appreciate good things and point out what is not good. :)
DeleteHoliday was good.:-) Hope you meet a Jack Black and get some gumption too..;-)
ReplyDeleteI loved The Holiday. I fell in love with Jude Law all over again!! Jack Black at his cutest best,totally edible :D Gumption...hmmmm :\ o_O
DeleteSwarnali: Nice blog, nice poems. Thank for visiting my blog.I greet you from Argentina
ReplyDeleteHellow Elen...I hope you are doing fine. I loved the line you added to the poem,waiting for it to get completed :)
DeleteAnd thank you so much for dropping here and leaving your comment :)
I liked the poem alot..
ReplyDeletehats off...!
Thank you Monica. Am humbled :)
DeleteKeep watching romantic movies if it can make give us wonderful poetry like this... Awesome work
ReplyDeleteRegards
village girl
yes yes I will until I see all the romantic movies made :P almost done with the English ones...now trying out French ones ...hehe
DeleteThank you for dropping in. Am glad you like what I wrote :)
To say I missed you is totally an understatement. How have you been?
ReplyDeleteDear Swarnali,
ReplyDeleteI've seen that movie twice and enjoyed it both times.
I am a poet who writes from deep emotions. There have been many movies where even I (and I'm not ashamed to say it) have shed a tear or two because the movie touched a deep place in me. To feel, whether it be pain or joy is to live. To live is to love. You are alive and I see you. To me, you will always be a special Lady Flower (smile).
After re-reading your poem, I thought you might change your line to something like this:
Will you believe me
If I said I knew
How it felt to be
The only invisible one
In a world made just for two? - What do you think?
I have the perfect solution to cheer you up...come on over and join me for Blog Hop Saturday! Linky is open now. Bring your friends. It promises to be a lot of fun! Keep on checking Lovers' Cove too. I'll be compiling the final poem in the coming days. Looking forward to seeing you soon!
Thank you so very much Andy. You are too kind :D
DeleteAnd thanks a zillion for correcting me, I was a little confused about exactly those lines and I didn't know how to change them. Now I do :D
Let me add your version.
And am joining the hop soon :)
Smiling...My dear Swarnali, you are most welcome!
DeleteYou make me happy for liking my "suggestion" (I prefer suggestion over correction...LOL). In fact, nothing gives me more joy than helping a fellow friend.
Welcome to Blog Hop Saturday! Laughing...wouldn't you agree those hopping bunnies bring a smile to your face? Blog Hop Saturday! is all about taking it easy and just having fun. I host it every first Saturday of the month, so relax, take your time visiting the others who link up (you'll have a whole month until the next hop) and just enjoy yourself hopping from blog to blog...you never know what goodies you'll find. Thank you for your kindness and generosity. Take care & have a wonderful weekend. See you soon dear friend!
I loved your suggestion( as you call it) :)
DeleteAnd yes those bunnies do make you giggle :D
Hi Swarnali, The poem is amazinng and there's a lot more you could add.. so many feelings we go through.. I felt it ended too soon.. it was sooooo good. :)
ReplyDeleteAnd I like your description of yourself as a 'certified weeper'.. basically because I am like that too. My friends at work know how my tears flow.. and when I was leaving them, he he I did not shed a tear and told them, you all have made me learn how to be stronger. :P
Awwww thank you...you made my day!! :D
DeleteWould you like to add more to the poem? I would love if you do. The thing about this one is I was suddenly called for when those 3 stanzas were written and later when i came back,I couldn't write anything more,so its just 3 stanzas :D
Haha...we are a kind :D Hi5 !!! I guess those tears are what makes me stronger. Crying has a sort of cathartic effect on me. I feel immediately better after crying :D
Another beautiful poem. :)
ReplyDeleteAnd in regards to your comment on my blog yesterday: YES!! She does remind me of Lars and the Real Girl! Hahaha!
Thanks J :)
DeleteHaha I Know,right? ;)
Loved the poem. And also the picture. Took me back to Kolkata for a mindblowing instant, WOW!
ReplyDeleteHere from the bloghop Sat, btw. Wd love to have you over at mine.
http://nilabose.blogspot.com/
Hellow Nilanjana, thanks for dropping in and for those lovely compliments. I'll drop at yours soon :)
Delete