It was not I

It was not I

I was nine
When you deflowered me.
You touched me
Against my wishes.

I screamed aloud,
But the words
Chocked in my throat
And no voice came out.

I cried silent tears,
In the silence of the night;
Unable to tell anyone
Of what I went through.

I felt violated,
Ashamed of my body,
Unable to look at myself
In the mirror.

But today,years later,
I refuse to let you
Crush my soul
And dampen my spirit.

It is I who decides
Not to tell the world
What you did to me
Behind those walls.

I refuse to let you
Make me guilty
For that I haven't done
What never was my fault.

For I refuse to be
Called a victim and
You as my abuser.
I shall rise and not 
Let you win over me.


 This post was inspired by -
1) Kamala Das' poem An Introduction
2) The second episode of  Satyamev Jayate and 
3) Pinki Virani's award winning book, Bitter chocolate-Child Sexual Abuse in India.