Guest 13 - Arpita is here!

Hello Friends,

Today's guest is a very special friend of mine, Arpita. She reviews books at A Lot of Pages. She is a fellow batch mate, same stream but different Universities. She is in Delhi and am in Kolkata. She is a brilliant student (an invaluable help during my pre-exam jitters :P) who writes amazing poems and short stories. We became friends through our common friend Koustabh and then came ALOP and our friendship grew stronger. She is the best e-buddy turned real life buddy I have made so far. She is always the first one to read anything I write, gives all the invaluable inputs,feedback and corrections. Thanks Arpi for always being the one to give me the push forward and telling me "You Can Do It".
Arpita is here to share a short story with us-

THE PARTING OF THE WAYS

Some things in life leave behind scars that never fade. Some people leave their mark, and change your life for ever. As each day goes by, some memories creep back into your thoughts; memories you’d rather push to the back of your mind. Because, they are nothing more than a reminder of what you’ve loved and lost…

                                                                  

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It was just as I turned the corner that I saw him; it was the first time in years. Rohan looked just the same; tall and handsome, smiling flirtatiously as he stood in front of the cafeteria surrounded by a group of giggling girls. My first instinct was to run; my stomach churned and I quickly looked away, praying that he hadn’t seen me. I couldn’t bear to face him- I didn’t know how I would react, whether I would ‘act right’ or give myself away.

A million thoughts ran through my mind, as did a hundred different emotions: embarrassment, jealousy, nervousness, fear, anger, contempt, hatred… and love. Blushing furiously, I turned away. It was a bad idea. Akshat and Aastha were headed my way. I tried smiling back but it probably looked like a grimace to them; Aastha raised an eyebrow questioningly and Akshat hurried forward looking concerned. At that moment, I really felt like hitting him. I’d had enough of his protectiveness, his determination to please me no matter what, to go out of his way to cooperate with me, even if it meant getting his feelings hurt.

Usually, I’d find it all flattering- any girl would. But the very fact that it wasn’t him that I wanted all this attention from ruined any chances of falling in love with him. I wanted to scream at him, and make him understand that his ‘eternal devotion’, as Aastha liked to call it, filled my heart with guilt and pity- which are not exactly the kind of emotions I’d like to associate with the one I love.

But a different voice in her head contradicted her thoughts- it reminded her that she did enjoy all the attention. Just that she didn’t want to commit to anything, that what she really wanted was to get something without having to give anything in return. She loved the compliments. In her own vicious way, she got a savage pleasure out of hearing him tell her how much he loves her, how he suffers when she doesn’t reciprocate his love, how he cannot bear to lose her. She didn’t realize it, but she was punishing him for no fault of his. She didn’t tell him to back away, to move on. She let him hang on to the hope that she might change her mind some day. She was scared of how much he would hate her if she turned him down- and told him the real reason for not accepting him. But more than that, she feared losing an ardent admirer- someone who would dance to her tunes.

In her own vicious way, she was doing to him what the boy behind her did to her.

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She looked like a frightened rabbit when she saw me watching her; it made me smile ironically. This was so different from what I was used to; I remembered how determined Sukriti had always been not to react the way I’d expect her to. No blushing, no giggling; she’d always roll her eyes when I’d shower her with compliments and confess my undying love for her.

While I adored her for how unique she was, the contempt for me that was reflected in her words never went unnoticed. She made it sound like she was teasing me, ‘acting’ high and mighty because she seemed to think that a girl has the right to have the upper hand in a relationship. But I knew how deep rooted her sense of superiority was. She was always so sure that she was too good for me.

Yeah, right. I saw how shattered she was when I told her about the relationship I was in. Despite knowing me so well, she seemed shocked to know that I’d cheated on her. She tried to win me back; that was amusing. I let her- and got back a whole new Sukriti; sweet, docile, cooperative. And delicious.

  

Rohan did not regret anything he did. He was one to live for the moment. He knew that. He also knew that he never wanted to grow emotionally attached to anyone. He breaks away from people before they can get too close to him; before they can break away from the person he really is.

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I couldn’t understand what was wrong with her. I knew it must have been awkward for her to encounter the guy she had been in a relationship with for so long. It just didn’t make sense that she seemed so nonchalant about it, even when he wrapped her in his arms right in front of us. It made my blood boil; God knew how much I hated that cocky smile. It took all the restraint I had to keep myself from breaking Rohan’s face. He thought he could get any girl he wants- he was so wrong. Sukriti didn’t love him anymore; he’d hurt her too much. I knew, because I was there to help her move on.

But right then and there, as she returned his hug like she did it everyday, I saw her eyes shine in adoration when she looked at him. And there was something more. While he held on to Sukriti and pulled her closer, I could clearly make out a change I’d never seen in her. Never had I watched her look at someone with such obvious desire. It made my heart squeeze. This could not have been happening. After everything I’d said to her, after all the times I had told her how mad I am about her such that I can hardly keep myself in control when she’s around, she hadn’t once looked at me the way she looked at this guy… who broke her heart and returned years later to claim her, without even saying a single word, like she always had belonged to him. And always will.

Akshat walked away before he could see anything else that would make him hate himself for loving her. He didn’t understand what just happened, or why. He didn’t understand why she was doing this. But more than anything else, he didn’t understand how she could choose him… knowing fully well that she was willingly walking into a death trap.

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This is our second last post for the guest bloggers' month (yes this has stretched for more than a month :D). Thanks Arpi for sharing the story with us.

Love 

Swarnali

p.s.- Pics from google