Love Until the Sun Grows Cold: Part 1

Hello, beautiful people! I guess I'm feeling sheepish about blogging after what feels like an age. :P Things have just been topsy turvy lately, and I couldn't find the chance to return to it. I am back, though, and hopefully for good! There's a story I've been meaning to share for ever, and I am finally posting it. Your feedback is more than welcome; hope you all will like it! Happy reading!

It was a breezy winter morning when Tara boarded the ferry from Singapore to Bintan Island, Indonesia. Dressed flawlessly in a chic red turtleneck sweater, skinny blue jeans and flat boots, she dropped into a seat by the window and sighed. It was an hour long ride and for some strange reason there weren't a lot of intriguing passengers around to have a chat with; in fact, there weren't nearly enough people on board as expected.

   She pulled a magazine out of her heavy rucksack and began flipping through it randomly, even though she was highly tetchy that day and not at all in the mood to read. She was going to meet an old friend after what felt like ages and couldn't wait to get off the ferry.

It was a while before she sensed someone’s eyes on her. She looked up to see a guy peeking at her furtively. Tara quickly averted her eyes even though he seemed oddly familiar…Realizing that she had noticed him gawking at her, he decided to throw caution to the winds and approach her. Years had passed since she had sent him that email, reproaching him for his actions. Perhaps she had forgiven him?

   Picking up his briefcase, he made his way over and slid into the seat opposite hers. "Hi...Tara, right? Remember me?"

She raised an eyebrow at him. "No, actually, I don't."

   “I’m Uday.”

Her dark brown eyes widened incredulously. Could it really be him? The nerdy, happy-go-lucky guy who never cared much for looks? Impeccably dressed in an oxford shirt, trousers and a blazer, he now looked elegant and very, very upmarket. He smiled at the look on her face, making his dimples all the more stunning. "It's strange how hard it gets to recognize even a dear friend after years of being separated." 

   She shifted in her seat, embarrassed that she had been so obvious. It felt like one of those awkward moments when you're introduced to someone with whom you're expected to be polite, but don't know what to say to. “Well, you seem…different.”

He ran a hand through his hair self-consciously. “Honestly, I don’t know whether or not to take that as a compliment.”

  “Oh, I meant in a good way.” She replied. When he looked dubious, Tara gave him a cocky grin. “You look snazzy.”

He grinned back. "How come you're on your way to Bintan Island?"

  "I'm visiting a friend." She replied; an odd look came over her face as she watched his reaction.

He cleared his throat nervously, wondering what to say next. "So how have you been? I heard you weren’t too happy about studying in Singapore."

  “Oh, I actually like it here now.” She waved a hand airily.

“How come you got over the homesickness so soon?” said Uday.

  “I have two words for that: Retail Therapy.”

He chuckled. There was a quiet confidence about him that was charming, she noticed. And he seemed to have grown more mature, debonair. “You know, I never expected to see you here of all places.” She said.

  “Yeah, I know. I’m on a business trip actually.” He seemed to be gearing himself up for something. He cleared his throat again and tried- but failed- to look nonchalant. “Have you heard from Seher lately?”

“Yes. I have.” She said through pursed lips. She knew Seher was bound to come up at some point in the conversation. For a moment, the past seemed to hang in the air between them. The old familiarity gone, neither knew what to say to the other.

  Tara wondered how it would have been had her two best friends not broken up. There are some relationships which are built upon the foundation of such a powerful love that it envelopes others in its warm embrace. Seeing two such people fall in love can bring an inexplicable harmony; there is some sense of rightness in their being together. There may be turbulence in the relationship; something might not be working out. But when you know they are with each other, it feels like things are in their right place. It’s comforting, reassuring and peaceful. It’s right.

  Life doesn’t always go our way, however. Things fall apart. And we realize that the only way we can keep the love alive is in our memory. It can be devastating. Not just for those who are in love; but for everyone involved. When two people break up, they lose each other. But the friend loses the best of them both- the part that all three of them shared; that which nothing else can replace. Uday knew just as well as she did that he and Seher were perfect together. She was the woman of his dreams; and Tara had actually admitted that she herself could never consider any other guy to be as worthy of her friend. And yet he had let ‘Fate’ take over their lives.  

                                                                                                            

 She turned away, staring determinedly out of the window. She knew she wasn't being fair by blaming him for the break up- she hadn't even been fair to herself. She need not have lost him as a friend too. But how could she have talked to him every other day when she knew that Seher would not have broken all ties with her if it hadn't been for him?

  Seher might have come back into her life, but things were just not the same anymore. It might be selfish, but Tara felt like Uday had let things come crashing down even though he knew what it would mean for the three of them- the end of the best phase of their lives; the end of their friendship. 

All the anger and resentment she had felt towards him suddenly came crashing into the present, momentarily wiping out all other thought from her mind. “You let her go,” she said in a flat voice, and saw the pain flash across his face.

  “I couldn’t make her stay.” He whispered.

  Guilt seared his heart but he knew he wasn’t the only one responsible for what happened. It was so difficult to explain something like this, especially after so much time had passed. Would Tara understand his reasons? Were they even justified? There was only so much he could have done, and he had suffered every day for God knew how long because of the decisions he had made- the decisions that were perhaps preordained; something that Tara could not understand, and Seher would not recognize.

"You never gave me a chance to speak to you about it,” he said. “When Seher moved abroad, you refused to talk to me for months. I got an email from you, telling me exactly how ‘despicable’ you think I am. I knew that nothing I said at the moment would matter anymore.”

   What he didn’t mention was that he had thought of a hundred different things to say to her then, to hurt her as much as she had hurt him. But he knew what would bother her most- silence on his part. He never replied. After Seher left, Tara seemed to have become a different person. She looked like she carried some secret with her; something that she would guard jealously, like treasure, but which seemed to give her some sort of masochistic pleasure...

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(...To be continued)